9.04.2008

I'm not so talented..

Especially in the area of long distance relationships.  Right now this is painfully obvious in the areas of communication with:
-Family.
-St. Louis friends
-California friends
-Lithuania friends
-2nd East Olson friends (i mean, its a whole flight of stairs above me and a little to the right.)
-This blog.

It's as if I'm just now realizing that my ability to blog has returned.  Because i was away for so long, i got out of thinking in relation to or with the facility to interact with the blogosphere.

Just like when an old friend returns home or becomes available for human to human interaction after a long absence, sometimes you forget that it is possible to be physically present with them, since you had so long been unable to do so.  This is where i am with blogging right now:
Physically, quite able to interact with the keyboard, but living life as if i cannot.  The typing of these words honestly feels altogether very awkward, as if there is an uncomfortable silence between old friends as both ponder the fact that one or both has had more than a few experiences in their time apart, and neither is at all sure where to begin.

So really, i am not sure where to begin.  And may never do so.  The facts and experiences may just have to work themselves out as i continue to live life, changed and yet the same.  Experienced and waiting.  Different, and thus wholly unable to be what i was before, yet entirely dumbfounded and mute when it comes to actually relaying and therefore affirming the experiences. I suppose it will be my actions and not my words that must attest.  There is no need to begin, only to continue.  Perhaps these things become visible over time, one must hope, or else life would be spent explaining one's self and actions away.  
All this to say, I'm not going to pick up where i left off.  I'm going to continue, starting now.

2 comments:

Andrew said...

You did it! I'm so pleased right now!

annie.marie.dimond. said...

anything for you andrew paul.